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Tom Clement
ISBN: 978-1-84747-686-9
Published: 2008
Pages: 350
Key Themes: psychosis, suicide, bereavement, alienation, inferiority complex, body dysmorphic disorder, social anxiety, depression, night terrors, relapse and recovery
Description
Born an only child to a family with a traditional but outdated view to discipline, Tom spent his early years on the outskirts of London, before his family moved to a cottage in the countryside. After his father became interested in horseracing, it was decided that the family were going to move to Newmarket to follow his fathers dream of becoming a successful race horse trainer.
The idyllic life that his family hoped to pursue when they moved to Newmarket never happened, as they were betrayed by a colleague and lost their financial security. Becoming targets for people who had been wronged by the same person that deceived them.
As his world grew more uncertain, his mental health began to wain, and by the time his grandparents committed suicide, Tom was engulfed in a fully blown psychotic illness that led to him being sectioned when he was sixteen.
After finding a flaw in his psychotic delusions. Tom worked hard to regain some control of his life and integrate with the lifestyle of Newmarket’s famous horseracing industry. Tom then embarked on a years long quest to fit in and be ‘normal‘. But ultimately the desire to fit in with everyone else and the pressures of trying to live up to other people expectations caused him to have a major relapse that threw his world in turmoil. This biography charts the progress if one young mans recovery from severe mental illness and touches on the damage that can be done from trying to live up to other peoples expectations.
About the Author
Tom currently resides in Newmarket, where he enjoys nature, illustration, listening to music, and singing songs he’s written when nobody is listening. Hopefully one day he’ll let you listen. You never know, stranger things have happened.
He’s recently become involved with the local service user group, Suffolk User Forum (SUF) and believes that service user involvement is essential for maintaining and improving services for other people who experience mental distress.
Book Extract
Dear 1991
It’s ok Mum, there’s nobody there
A noise just caught you unawares
This is our home and we shouldn’t be scared
But the things we have seen have made us beware
I know it’s raining
I know you’re aching
I know that the bad men came back today
I know we’re not safe while dad’s away
Yes I’ve checked the locks again
I’m sorry but I can’t be quiet all the time
There’s not a lot that escapes these eyes
I know that anger stops you from crying
You deserve better and so do I
I know I don’t understand your pain
But that doesn’t make mine go away
I wish that we could leave this place
Is it strength or shame that makes us stay
Dear 1991
You left my home undone
You never brought the sun
My mind’s still in the dark
Dear 1991
I couldn’t shake your touch
You taught me not to trust
And shaped the things to come
It’s ok Mum, I know you have plans
I’m all that you have, so I’ll do what I can
I promise you that I wont be bad
Like those men that hurt my dad
You’re worried that I’ll stray
So I’ll be good today
Cos we can’t see tomorrow
We’ll just get through today
I won’t ask for shoes while we can’t afford food
I never understood what owning Nike’s prooves
You’ve got me and I’ve got Dad and you
Hopefully that’s enough to pull us all through
I’m being polite, but I’m crying
I’m going to bed early, but I’m crying
I’m doing my homework, but I’m crying
I’m not talking to strangers, but I’m crying
But through it all, I’m surviving
It’s ok Mum, I’ll be a good boy
I’ll be a good boy, but how do I be a good man
How will I support you if you don’t let me stand
I can’t see a future while I’m blinded by the past
Do you think one day you will let me decide who I am
I know the future is far away
And we have to struggle to get through today
I know there’s a reason for the way you behave
I love you mum and you’re not to blame
It’s just how we were played
The walls to which I was confined
Have not crumbled inside my mind
I’m bright but they block out my shine
I hope they will come down in time
Dear 1991
I’ve now passed 21
I don’t know what’s become
Of a mothers dreams for her young
Dear 1991
Despite the mental scars
I’m made of stronger stuff
Than the minds of the corrupt.
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