Venus Clubb AKA VEE


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175 in stock


By Mia Hamilton-Smith

ISBN: 978-1-84991-379-9
Published: 2011
Pages: 32
Key Themes: fiction, mental health, fantasy, sci-fi


Gran is a fifty thousand years old teenager and Vee is the twenty six thousand years old granddaughter who has clean up the damage after Gran, in other words Gran is a cosmic hippy. On the other hand Vee is a conservative who would be welcomed with open arms in The Historical Women Egg Painting Party. Vee and Gran both come from the planet Venus but Vee is permanently stationed on earth, and Gran has only come to stay with Vee for a short period of one hundred years holiday and loves to organise and volunteer.

About the Author

I am a writer of stories, poetry and songs and I have create a large amount of writings over the years, and now I am seeking to have them published and recently I was told of your publishing house that specialise in people as myself. In 1999 I had to stop work because of health reasons and from then on my health has worsened, for I was a college lecture and specialised in communications. My mother was in the mental health system for forty years and I, my younger sister and brother were fostered in the 1960s. Also until I was sixteen I could not read and only found out when I went to university in my thirties as a mature student that I was dyslexic. I have poems going back to when I was sixteen years old, and songs I have written over the past ten years plus many short stories I have wrote over the last twenty years; plus I had three of my plays preformed in the 1980s. I have an Honours Degree Social Science and PGCE and besides teaching, I have worked a telephonist, receptionist, crafts tutor for ILEA, wardrobe assistant in theatre and TV; plus I did a craft programme for the BBC called Handmade in the 1980s.

Book Extract

Chapter I

The Past

Venus Clubb aka Vee, sat at her kitchen table drinking her first cup of green tea for the day, and wondered why she had stayed for four thousand years on this planet called Earth.

The real biography of Vee is she comes from the planet Venus whose outer surface resembles Shketmet and Hathor on a PMT rampage. The reason for this is that any of the various life forces in one of the universes that are seeking new planetary takeovers will only do the sensible thing and look elsewhere to dominate when they see the weather on planet Venus. Of course, there is another side to the planet Venus that is heaven in balance the outer physical structure resembling hell in all its glory.

The inhabited heavenly Venus is found in the duel dimension that resides on a higher level of spectrum thirteen. So Venusians exist happily and are part of the intergalactic force to monitor the advancement of the Earthlings, for the Greater Good Policy Reinforcement Committee of the Universal Pyramid Sanction Department in other words GGPRCUPSD pronounced G Cups. There were a few things Vee had to get used to when she first arrived on this planet, and what a difference when it came to the ageing business, for Venusians live thousands of years and some have reached the grand old age of a million earth years. Also, Venusians can have a total body makeover upon reaching the age of eighteen thousand years old, and every fifty years from then onwards until they die. Well they don’t die like earthlings do, Venusians become a non material substance of the living historical realism society and are stored in the database recycle unit as a neuron. Another interesting aspect of Venusians is, if one is born female or male they can only have one option of a sex change, and this change is only allowed to last fifty years unless on special operations and then it is extended to one thousand years. This particular option does not included the option for breeding, it had been tried before but the result was not genetically compatible and the offspring did not survive beyond the idea of conception in other words, orgasm; because the DNA fought eliminating each other and this became known as the Geneaworout. Anyway, on the bright side of life, the total body makeovers are worth all the pain and tears plus the occasional rack stretching to add a couple of inches. Furthermore Vee has been given Europe as a region to monitor for the Department of Cultural Historical Interest of Alien Neighbours Interconnection Comosologicalism, CHIANIC; this not a perfume.

The problem I have, thought Vee, is Gran Clubb is coming for a few decades’ holiday which really means a whole century of her adventures and me getting another wrinkle or two. Gran is eighty thousand years old and knows all there is to know in the entire universe, according to Gran. She has also created a little hearing problem, that is to say, Gran only hears what benefits her at any moment, and she believes everything and everybody agrees with her own view, even when the odds are one hundred percent against her. This mishearing situation occurs more often then I like to think about, much less talk about, and the misunderstandings I have had to sort out in the past number into infinite after one of Grans adventures.


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