To Live With Myself


SKU Paperback Category

1125 in stock


By Lotti Macard

ISBN: 978-1-84747-084-3
Published: 2007
Pages: 48
Key Themes: borderline personality disorder, mental health services, sectioning, prison, recovery


This book tells the true story and thoughts as well as experiences of Lotti, a sufferer of borderline personality disorder and a regular detainee under the Mental Health Act. Borderline Personality disorder is an often misunderstood and unfamiliar conditional. Lotti set fire to her friends house when she was unwell and was sent to prison and then a secure unit. She is still in hospital but a lot better now and her friend has forgiven her.

Borderline Personality Disorder in its simplest form tends to show itself from slight to more severe sensitivity in a person, and in its more extreme and disabling form in attention seeking behaviour, low self esteem, acts of self harm and even suicide attempts. It is considered the hardest of mental states to control as medication is not the only way to treat it. Years of learning coping strategies and the unlearning of sociably undesirable habits only can transform the sufferer.

It takes perseverance from patients, family and friends as well as carers and an unbelievable amount of patience to overcome the obstacles which lead in the first instance to illness. Still arguably the most controversial and only recently recognised mental illness, it is often underestimated through being more of a behavioural problem rather than a medical one. Nonetheless it can be altered with the necessary support and sufferers might lead a fulfilling life.

This book charts Lottis experiences as she battles her long-term illness. It takes a lot of teeth gnashing to get the insight and ability to enable people with this condition to fend for themselves. With this book Lotti wishes to encourage sufferers to stick it out so its well worth a read!

About the Author

During a very stressful childhood Lotti picked up strategies which were not compatible with the normal 9 to 5 lifestyle. She became very impulsive and her actions lead a very erratic, unstable life.

Absconding from childrens homes and living rough at times were the norm in her teens and twenties. Being especially sensitive became her chief enemy, which resulted in continuous self-harm and suicide attempts, as well as destructive behaviour to others. This sensitivity made Lotti vulnerable to criticism (either real or perceived), unable to accept praise, and gave her low self-esteem and erratic mood swings. All these needed overcoming and at the lowest point of her life only outsiders like doctors and carers could see there could be a way back for her.

1 review for To Live With Myself

  1. John Harley (verified owner)

    A really educational read into the issues associated with borderline personality disorder

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