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By Claire Attwood
ISBN: 978-1-84747-985-3
Published: 2009
Pages: 192
Key Themes: poetry, schizo-affective disorder, mental health, empowerment
Description
This book aims to take the reader through what my experience of Schizo-Affective Disorder has been like. Therefore, the poems relating to the main issues that have affected me are not in set sections but rather they are scattered randomly. This represents how my life has been a bit like a roller coaster ride. The poems are in the order in which I wrote them-again to allow the reader to gain an insight into my own personal experience of mental health problems. Writing this book has been an incredibly empowering journey for me and I hope that this is evident to the reader.
About the Author
Claire Attwood is 30 years old and lives on the Isle of Wight with her fiance Neil and their pets. Claire has battled Schizo-Affective Disorder for the last 7 years and-for the most part, thinks she is winning the fight! Claire works for the NHS as a Support Time and Recovery Worker in an Early Intervention in Psychosis Team and is also studying for a degree in Psychology with the Open University. In her spare time, Claire enjoys writing poetry and self-help literature, and also looking after her pet snake- Barney. Claire hopes to continue writing to empower those affected by mental health problems.
Book Extract
DO I DARE?
This poem is about times when I felt that suicide was the only way out for me and the way that was ‘offered’ to me by the voices that I hear when I feel unwell. I often felt like this-I sometimes still do but the essence of this poem is about feeling cowardly for not going through with the act of suicide but then being able to take back control from the voices and realise my inner strength.
Whirling pools of darkness
Washing over me,
Take me far away from here,
Drown me in the sea.
Blood so red,it trickles
From my porcelain skin,
What is there to stop me now?
The ice is wearing thin.
And still I hear the voices,
Screaming through the air,
Do it,do it, do it
Am I brave enough to dare?
Standing on the precipice
Staring down to earth,
Want to end this all now
Break free from the curse.
Blood is flowing freely and
I start to slip away
What was once black and white
Fades to murky grey.
And still I hear the voices
Screaming through the air,
Do it,do it,do it,
Am I brave enough to dare?
Standing on the platform,
Waiting for a train,
Kill me,give me freedom,
Obliterate my brain.
Blood pours now so freely
From my heavy heart,
Life it ebbs away now
But is it just the start?
And still I hear the voices
Screaming through the air,
Do it,do it,do it!
Am I brave enough to dare?
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