Suicide In God’s Waiting Room


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175 in stock


By David A. Forknall

ISBN: 978-1-84991-901-2
Published: 2013
Pages: 42
Key Themes: Mental Health, Suicide, Recovery, Azheimer’s, Depression


‘Suicide in god’s waiting room’ is a book about Dave’s suicide attempt and the repercussions on his mind and body. The book also covers topics such as Alzheimer’s, depression and mental health in general.

The book tells of a week of lows, whilst held firmly in the grip of the drugs that Dave had taken to end his life. He has to suffer the strange hallucinations that have overtaken him in order to survive and return to his normal life. This could be an opportunity to winge, instead it is a witty and honestly written account of what surviving suicide entailed for Dave.

About the Author

Dave Forknall is 57 and living in the Yorkshire Dales with his girlfriend Chris. He was born in 1955 and was originally from Birmingham. Dave re-located to the Dales with his then wife and family in 1988 after he suffered a mental breakdown some years after having been diagnosed with multiple Sclerosis. He is now divorced.

He has suffered from manic depression since his early teens, having never really seen this condition as anything other than normality, until he reached his fifties.

Dave has been studying the craft of writing for the past five years and felt that the time was right to finally tell the world about his suicide attempt. He says that it was a chance to tell everyone about what he has been through. In particular it gave him a chance to let the health professionals see the humanity of a suicide attempt. That is something, he has been reliably informed, that is sadly lacking tool in their toolbox. This also gave him the chance to write about other mental health issues that affect most of us in today’s society and include them in his book.

‘Suicide in god’s waiting room’ is definitely Dave’s first book, but certainly not his last, and that’s a promise.

Book Extract

It felt like I was on another planet. Dreams with all of their horrors came and went leaving me totally but temporarily inside a nightmare world of my own minds making.

In trying to make any sense of my current situation, I delved into my mind for answers. I remembered ringing my girlfriend in a panic to tell her what I had done. Then I can recall being in my bedroom in a fit of tears, talking to my son who was holding onto my hand, my girlfriend had rung him to be with me, whilst we waited for the ambulance to arrive. All I seemed to be able to say was “I’m sorry” and “I love you”. Unconditional love.

Firstly in this situation, I just did not believe that I had achieved such a level of stupidity; secondly I was thinking that had I succeeded in making myself sick we would not have been there at all. As I said, stupid.

Thinking back I remember the arrival of the paramedic in his green uniform with his black bag full of tricks. He had obviously been sent ahead to check on my condition in lieu of an ambulance. He looked rather like a holidaymaker, except for the word ‘paramedic’ writ large on his back giving the game away. He could though have been waiting in departures for his plane to whisk him away to warmer, foreign climes, but he wasn’t. He asked a few questions like”what have you taken” and “how long ago”. And like a novice he looked them up in his book saying “Oh, it’s ok, they’re not really lethal” and “you should be alright, there really isn’t anything to worry about”. Great news!

The next thing I knew there were two ambulance men in my bedroom taking my blood pressure and temperature. They then got me out of bed onto a small version of my wheelchair (I hadn’t said that I use a wheelchair had I?)

Dressed in just my underpants they wrapped a blanket around me and took me to their waiting ambulance. I can recollect suddenly feeling quite hot and saying “I think I’m going to be sick”. The ambulance man gave me a cardboard bowl which he thrust under my mouth and then…nothing.


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