Passages from the Search for Eternal Love


SKU e-book Category

175 in stock


By Kelly Brown

ISBN: 978-1-84991-071-2
Published: 2010
Pages: 64
Key Themes: fiction, love, relationships



Passages from the search for eternal love is a book of fiction about a community called Illigruum House and two women Eva and Rosa. Eva is an artist who has accepted being alone as a necessary artistic path. But when Rosa a beautiful and wise woman in her seventies invites Eva to join her on the course learning through love Rosa offers to show Eva her true path. Eva finds that through Rosa’a stories of love and a spiritual meeting in the caves of Bearn a new way of thinking about love, the concept of abundance, and a universal love that will change her life forever.

About the Author

Kelly Brown (born in London 1970) began writing very early, and had two poems published before she was fourteen. After a three month research trip to Africa Kelly was asked to write a play for the Theatre Centre, which was performed at the Lilian Baylis theatre (‘eating Strawberries in the toilet) and another for the Royal Court YPT about the Morant Bay Uprising. After this Kelly Studied Literature and Philosophy at University, under the tuition of JonathanRée, excelling in European Literature and philosophy. As a writer Kelly then struggled to find an authentic voice and decided to work with children, traveling and learning about life. She wanted to write about more than the angst inside her head! However just when Kelly felt that she had found her authentic voice the change was difficult for people to understand. When she gave up her work with children and started writing her family panicked. She was labeled as mentally ill and she found her self in hospital with the diagnosis of manic depression. Kelly says that getting over the stigma of having a mental illness was really hard, but that eventually she found that it gave her permission to be who she wanted to be- an artist (in a very surrealist sense of the word). A writer and philosopher, dancer and photographer. It also opened up a new spiritual and healing dimension to her life. She gained a Masters in Fine art studying with Geoff Brunel who helped her to develop a very valuable creative process- working from images and concepts, calmly and relaxed, not manically.

Book Extract

I’ve just finished reading a book about the hedonistic sixties, the decade in which I was conceived, but the decade before I was born, and I am shocked by so much thought of suicide. I look for something underpinning this, perhaps dabbling in drugs that were mind expanding; perhaps the emphasis on youth and beauty, but also perhaps the emphasis on getting to know oneself… an arduous task, a little bit scary.

I dream of subtle truths; I hold a mirror to myself and I know that being Eva is an incarnation, not an absolute truth. I am often drawn of other Eva’s. Just now I gaze at a picture of Eva Hesse, a sculptor of dangerous materials. She stands there, knowing herself, liking or perhaps even loving herself, with a peasant scarf on her head, trapping her dark voluminous hair. She is so far away from knowing that she will die very soon. Yet for all my talk of death and suicide, death is not my soft uncomfortable spot, love is. I could cry just having to sound the word ‘love’. Mostly they are sharp tears that come quickly and make you gasp. Oddly enough eternal love is different. To meet an eternal love has no emotional ring, for me it is like a quest; almost like I am on a truth-finding mission, to find out all I can about eternal love, and tell it to you. I am not quite ready to finish this quest, hence the passages bit, but I am so glad you are reading it, otherwise this incarnation would feel somehow wasted.

I was on a path, a quite different one- I was an artist. My main goal was to describe reality, a shared reality, of the world of matter and the world of concerns. I went to Hebden bridge on one of my regular trips to stay with my friends there, hang out with their boys, and feel part of a family. I had no partner, and still have no one, mostly because the thoughts that engage me need a lot of space and silence. I hate bickering and blaming, and that’s what most couples seem to do, even lovely enlightened couples. But my path changed. I was invited to a workshop run by a very beautiful women called Rosa, and as she uttered the magical words, “ learning through love, a chance to find your path and meet your guides,” these were the words that I’d waited thirty-five years to hear, and I was ready for them. I don’t particularly like residential courses. They remind me of the terrible time I had during my first years at University; as I struggled to get along with people who knew too much about me; what I ate, how I brushed my teeth, how I kept my room, who I had sex with! It was a vulnerable experience, but I knew I wanted to go to Illigruum House, because I had some questions and wanted some answers. I wanted to know what was the point of my life if it had no love. If no-one held me, caressed my being and my cares, told me how beautiful I was, or lived for my growth and happiness.

Also I wanted to talk about my guide. She was a guide, spirit or perhaps just the rumblings of my own mind. But she had just joined me. She often made insightful comments: she was kind, funny and encouraged me. I thought she existed because I spent so much time alone, but recently I was beginning to think she was a guide. She spoke a lot about love, told me often in a joking way. I have really unsuccessful relationships. I seem to meet so many people who I can love, like a nun or mother, but so few that I want to spend much time with. I love to camp outside, to backpack, walk, take local buses, get lost and then find myself part of small communities. I only go to places where I can speak clearly and have regular conversations, so I know France, Spain and Italy well and I always long for a companion. My generation of people like adventure and go to hot cheap countries where you can live for a pound or something. I like drinking lush red wine, eating massive stews of pork and beans, and talking with old people about the members of their families; where they are, what they do, when they are coming back, because generally young people like cities. Young people generally like to be in exciting places, where you make money and spend money, and talk about people you hardly know, but like intensely. I like nature a lot. In nature I come alive. I hear all the voices of the trees, birds and hills.


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