By Greg Bauder
Key Themes: poetry, short stories, schizophrenia, imagination, humour!
PARANOID LOST is a collection of
stories from a schizophrenic viewpoint and they range
from the sublime to the ridiculous. They are alternately
sad, humourous, bizarre and disturbing as well as
highly imaginative and often experimental. But they all
aim to remove the stigma of schizophrenia with their
strange but non-violent outlook. And some are just a
lot of fun.
About the Author
Greg Bauder has had schizophrenia for 30 years. His
poems, stories, plays, reviews and articles have been
published in many magazines, and he has written three
novels about schizophrenia. He lives in Surrey, British
It was something like Saturday morning in the Psychiatric
boarding home as your room’s buzzer rang.
Rise fog drift hall
Dammit there’s a lineup! You’re warm in your housecoat.
Sun golds through window
You get in line, tell the nurse you feel okay. It’s late September.
Potential burning stomach ache
You down the pills with water before the nurse’s observant eyes.
Head locked carpet
Back in your room you lie down again.
Intercom buzz command
You ignore two calls until there is a knock at the door.
Staff peep at a sheep
Get up, shower, get dressed and do your chore, the activity
worker says backed by a nurse.
Energy drain impossible
You can’t spend all day in bed again or you’ll just get more
Rise drag 16 tons
The activity worker tells you of an outing in the van to the park and
wants to know if you will go.
Sleep before miles
If you can’t keep up with your commitments here we’ll have to call
the doctor, she says.
Nod to goddess
That’s better; you know we have your best interests at heart she
Towel shoulder toiletries
Let us know when you’ve finished your shower. We’ll check it off.
Tedious water fall
Enter clean clothes and shave, feeling better after shower but still
Room retreat a knock
A head peeks around your door and asks for a quarter with which to
buy a cigarette.
Anger rise negative
You leave your room and proceed to tell the activity worker you’ve
showered. She’s pleased but reminds you of your chore.
Vacuum dirt visible hallway
You tell the pretty worker you’ve finished your chore.
Bright smile reward
You’ll be eating lunch today, won’t you? I know you don’t like
Yes man hungers
We’ll be leaving around two for the park, and we should be back by four
so we’ll be in time for dinner. Are you going?
Thoughts work circles
Did you hear me?