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A Thirty-Something Woman’s Story of Depression From Disbelief to Discovery
By Beth-Sarah Panton Wright
ISBN: 978-1-84991-341-6
Published: 2010
Pages: 50
Key Themes: clinical depression, spirituality, diagnosis, family, empowerment
Description
“Me? Depressed?”, is an evocative, spiritual and honest chronicling of clinical depression, written from the perspective of a thirty-something, well-educated, Christian, professional, Jamaican woman, mother and wife. It follows her journey from being diagnosed, through disbelief and denial and then to discovery! “Me, Depressed?” is a welcomed addition into a conversation which must be had as clinical depression continues to affect millions of people’s lives every day.
About the Author
Beth-Sarah Wright is originally from Jamaica, where she was born in 1973. She has traveled and studied extensively from Edinburgh, Scotland to San Juan, Puerto Rico. Dr. Wright received her Bachelor’s degree, with high honors from Princeton University in Sociology and African American Studies. She received her Masters in Social anthropology from Cambridge University and her PhD in Performance Studies from New York University (NYU). She is married to the Very Rev. Robert C. Wright and they currently live in Atlanta, GA with their five children.
Book Extract
Preface
The morning I checked myself into a mental hospital , I left my home feeling numb and in a fog. I had kissed my children and hugged my husband good bye, knowing that something was different that day but I didn’t know what. I was tired, exhausted in fact and when I kissed my family, I felt at the end of my tether. I was certainly not planning to go to a mental hospital that morning; I was actually on my way to the college where I teach. By most accounts it was a normal morning beginning with my daily commute. Except for one thing. I wanted to die. I drove very slowly with my fingers curled tightly around the steering wheel keeping it straight, because my natural instinct was to swerve the car off the road or gun it into the car in front of me. Flashes of death, invisibility, disappearance kept distracting me. I wanted to die and being behind the wheel of the car seemed like a sure way to do it. The soft feeling of my children’s cheeks was still on my lips however and as much as I felt they would be better off without me, I stopped myself from doing anything drastic. Dazed yet without incident I arrived at work, walked into my classroom and simply proclaimed to my students I would not, could not teach them that day. By that time the tears were catapulting down my face, my tongue was heavy and I began to shake. I left the building five minutes later, barely making it to my car and drove directly to the place that would become my refuge, my saviour. I needed help. I didn’t know what to expect, all I wanted was to be locked away, from my husband, my children, my family, my life. The pain had to stop. I had been battling depression for about three years. But this moment, this intersection was the worst it had ever been.
It had been a harrowing few days leading up to this implosion. My work was suffering. My family was suffering. My relationship with my husband was suffering. Day to day life was so difficult it was much easier to sleep my way through. I had never felt like this before, never knew anyone who did. This was so outside of my zone of reality I didn’t know what to do. So I ended up going where I was sure someone could help me to understand what I was going through and what I had to do to feel better. It was in this place, this mental institution that the idea of this book was divinely downloaded. I was staying in the halfway house at the Bridge when it became clear to me that I had to write about my experiences in order to heal and perhaps even help others.
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Amani Mungo (verified owner) –
As a licensed mental health counselor, I have worked with many people over the years within the African-American and Cariabbean communities. I know how difficult it is for my own communities to recognize the effects of depression. I have several clients that ignored the symptoms. I applaud, Dr. Wright for sharing her experience and opening the doors to understand the positive results of seeking help. She has allowed others to recognize the symptoms within herself. I, thank her for honestly talking about depression and the effects on herself, family and professional life.