Madonna Complex


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Why Men Are Wired To Cheat On Women
By Peter Andrew Sacco & Debra Laino

ISBN: 978-1-84991-386-7
Published: 2011
Pages: 117
Key Themes: sexual addiction, relationships, gender


The Madonna complex is not something new. In fact, it was and often times is still usually referred to as the Madonna-whore complex. And what does this mean exactly? The Madonna complex is a book which explains in essence two things; 1) Why men are more prone to sexual addiction and 2) Why men with the Madonna complex prefer to not have sex with their partners, rather have extramarital affairs and/or become addicted to pornography, strip clubs and other venues of the sex trade. The book explains the etiology for why it happens and what causes it. The book also explains how women, namely the victims of the infidelity think/feel about their mates. Finally, the book provides first hand insights from individuals who have the Madonna complex or aspects of it, as well as case studies from the victims of it. Can sex become addiction? You bet it can and this book shows you why!

About the Author


Peter is an international author of the popular selling books What’s Your Anger Type? and Penis Envy. He is former TV talk show host of Mental Health Matters and resident expert on many TV shows. Peter is also the former Editor-in-Chief for Vices: The Magazine for Addictions, Habits and Well-Being. Peter is a psychology professor (specializing in addictions, relationships and criminal psychology) and former private practitioner. He resides in Niagara Falls, Canada.


Dr. Debra Laino is a Board certified Sex Therapist and Sex Educator in the Philadelphia area. She is in private practice and teaches for several Universities. Dr. Laino does countless media appearances and is a published author, her most recent book being Eleven reasons Why Women Cheat published in 2010. She is currently a columnist for Sex Appeal Magazine based out of Detroit, Michigan. As a young woman who has dealt with a desire disorder herself, she has great insight and empathy for clients going through these issues.

Book Extract

If you ask anyone on the street, in a shopping mall or bar, “Have you ever heard of the Madonna complex?” they are usually quick to answer something like…”Isn’t that about ‘that girl’, you know the provocative chick from the 1980’s who sang Like A Virgin?” Often times the responses you get are closely tied to one Madonna Louise Ciccone, singer, dancer, actress extraordinaire! Guess what? The Madonna complex has nothing to do with Madonna the entertainer, nor does it have anything to do with the Blessed Mother Mary. So, what is it then, and where the heck did this ubiquitous concept come from?

We’re sure you already have a lot of questions about this “complex” and who, what, where, why and when did it come from. Amongst those questions, we’re sure you also have the “how” in your back pocket, ready to throw out any moment–How does it work and how does it affect people? We will definitely get around to answering those questions as well! And we’re sure there will be many other questions and particular curiosities we hope to engage the reader in throughout this book.

The goal of this book is to enlighten and educate readers about the Madonna complex. We want to make this book as reader-friendly as possible. Each chapter will provide working definitions and insights into the Madonna complex and contain case studies and examples characteristic of various aspects of the complex.

Before you start reading this book, we would like you to ponder the following questions. Perhaps this will prime your thought processes as well as the values you possess toward the intricacies of the complex which you will read about in this book.

1) Do you believe that relationships and marriages were created/formed for the purpose of ensuring monogamy?

2) Do you believe in monogamy?

3) Do you believe polygamy is okay/acceptable if all parties involved in whatever kind of relationship they are in are okay with it?

4) Do you believe people can become addicted to sex?

5) Do you believe people can become addicted to relationships and/or other people?

6) Do you believe that in this day/age the media still places too much emphasis on sex and lust?

7) Do you believe viewing pornography can lead to promiscuity and/or sex addictions?

8) Do you believe that people already possessing sex addiction or have an addictive personality seek out pornography because they can relate to it at a level they are wired into?

9) Do you believe the institute of marriage, even relationships are held as sacred today as they once were?

10) Do you believe it is possible for a person to be with and remain with the same partner “forever”?

11) Do you hold to the stereotype that men are more likely to be cheaters than women?

12) Do you believe women are still held to a standard of being sexually reserved?

13) Do you believe sex is still a taboo subject that should not be expressed or discussed openly in public?

14) Do you think television shows and sex education classes geared toward children now at an earlier age lead to increased sexual promiscuity/behaviors later in life?

15) Do you believe that in today’s day/age almost anything “goes” sexually as long as all involved are willing and/or consenting?

16) Do you think people are still prudish about sex in Western society…it’s dirty, disgusting and shameful to express or expose the human body?

17) Do you believe technology, especially the Internet has led to an increase in sexual promiscuity, infidelity and divorce rates?

18) Do you think that once someone “cheats” on their spouse they are always a cheater?

19) Do you think if society restored the institute of marriage and made it difficult to get divorces, while at the same time banning common-law marriages that infidelity would decrease?

20) Do you know of someone who believes, or do you believe women are inferior to men and were created to serve men and bear children?

Now keep in mind there are no right or wrong answers to these questions, then again that all depends who you ask and who is listening! The purpose of reading through these questions is for you to question, challenge and explore the beliefs you currently hold about relationships and sex.

We’re sure that some of the questions you have just read may have provoked feelings of shock and disdain. Interestingly, there are many individuals who actually condone and subscribe to some of the activities and subject matter within these questions–Whatever floats some peoples’ boats so to speak! Coincidentally, those sailing these same vessels are collecting water so fast that their ships (relationships/lives) are sinking like the Titanic!

Even though society and media teaches that “Everyone is doing it!”, “Variety is the spice of life!”, or “It’s destined to be the societal norm!”, does not make it right or healthy for individuals, and relationships as a whole. What often gets left out of the mix is the degree of damage done to the human psyche!


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