£14.00
175 in stock
By Natasha Wilde
ISBN: 978-1-84991-732-2
Published: 2012
Pages: 132
Key Themes: poetry, prose, bipolar disorder, manic depression, psychiatry
Description
The mental health issue related to this book is bipolar disorder. This illness includes both ends of the spectrum, which is mania at the one end and clinical depression at the other. At its worst, it is debilitating, involving long stays in a psychiatric hospital in order for doctors to discover the appropriate medication thus balancing out the brain chemistry so that the patient can function in a reasonable manner in the outside world.
I sincerely think bipolar disorder must be the most serious of the mental illnesses because it is so violently distressing for the patient.,
LOVEs MELODY, is a collection of poetry and pieces of prose taking us through the 1990s on a roller coaster of extreme mental highs and lows. This writing depicts the power of the human spirit to conquer the most impossible of situations in life and, I trust, give other sufferers of this dreadful disease some kind of hope.
About the Author
Natasha Wilde was born in Chester in 1949. After moving down south she attended St. Albans Girls Grammar School where she obtained eight O levels and two A levels. She won a scholarship to St. Martins School of Art in London, studying Graphic Design, specialising in Film Animation.
When she was just half way through her Diploma course , she was offered a job with Halas and Bachelor animation company, the largest in the country. But alas, that never happened. She contracted bipolar disorder at the age of twenty always maintaining there was a strong possibility she had been spiked with the hallucinatory drug, L.S.D. She remembers experiencing a hellish and terrifying time, walking the streets of London, totally lost, hearing voices, hallucinating, all of her senses heightened.
This episode landed her in a scary hospital in Friern Barnet which had been an asylum in Victorian times. Natasha was disposed of in a newer building for less serious cases. The hospital has since been closed down under Margaret Thatchers orders, the poor occupants let loose, spilling out into the community to somehow make their way.
Throughout her twenties Natasha was in and out of the local hospital where doctors experimented with various drugs and twice she received E.C.T. ie Electro Convulsive Therapy. She was fortunate in that this worked well, bringing her down from her impossible fantasy world bang smack into reality which was a trifle depressing.
In between bouts of illness, the psychotic highs and the clinical lows, she took on menial work and then decided to move up to Leeds with her current Yorkshire boyfriend.
Here, she joined an agency and became self employed as an Exotic Dancer which she loved. No stigma was attached regarding her illness, no forms to fill in, no questions asked. She had a good figure and could move. She danced in clubs, pubs, working mens clubs and sometimes, rather dicey, illegal drinking dens known as shabims.
While living in Leeds, she met her husband to be who was originally from Scotand and although her demoms were determined to drive her crazy again, looking back, she guesses her husband rather saved her from a fate worse than death.
She moved back to Hertfordshire two years later in the mid seventies and after another spell in hospital, joined several agencies and began dancing again. She married in 1980 and gave birth to a daughter in 1981. Her pregnancy was hell, mentally, and a major depression set in. Immediately after giving birth she became psychotic and this was treated
She was married for ten years, then divorced her husband on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. During her marriage she had kept fairly well but the stress from the divorce encouraged her illness to return in its psychotic form landing her bang smack on Warren Ward for the umpteenth time.
Her book, Loves Melody, takes off from here. Much of it was written in Creative Writing Therapy at her local hospital.
Natasha now has an adorable granddaughter and after many years, the doctors have found drugs, much more modern and effective drugs which suit her. This, combined with strenuous efforts to find a new home, has led her to build a much improved, more reasonable, and happier life.
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alex Lewis (verified owner) –
Well meaning people shake their heads disapprovingly at the widespread fear of mental illness – but in fact there is plenty to be afraid of, not least the anguish of sufferers.
In Love’s Melody, Natasha Wilde describes the pain she suffered with a piercing honesty that opens the door to understanding of the feelings of someone with mental health problems. This understanding goes some way to dispel the fear caused by ignorance.
Natasha’s unusually clear awareness of her illness exposes the ambiguity of our attitude towards this condition. Escape from reality is a recurrent theme, reality sometimes too dull, and sometimes too painful. Part of her knows reality must be faced, but part, particularly her creative side, enjoys the heightened sensitivity, particularly to beauty, that psychosis gives.
Since at least the time of Dryden, the relation between creative genius and madness has been well explored.
He wrote: “Great wits to madness sure are near allied,
And their partitions to their bands divide.”
This relation raises questions about the nature of truth, but also provides an excuse for lazy thinking and self indulgence.
These are avoided by Natasha, but her ambiguity extends to a distrust of doctors and medications, despite a periodic acceptance that they have saved her from worse horrors.
A major theme of the book is Love. Love of her daughter is an emotion whose existence and validity are never questioned, but it brings anxiety and that pervasive sense of guilt which plagues all but the densest of parents. Most of us can relate to this, as we can to the search for a mutual love with another human being who can provide romance, excitement and security, sadly so often incompatible. In her most lucid moments, Natasha knows that “no mortal can truly offer such a love, such a warmth”, and she often reveals a sense that only divine love can provide a resolution.
A longing for a place of beauty and peace is another theme that will resonate with readers. In some passages the description is of a real place of happiness nostalgically revisited in her imagination, in others an idealised remote rural landscape for which she longs.
Violent external events, in for instance Ireland and Iraq, contrast with these visions in a readily understood way.
Natasha has always been able to express herself in dance and painting – this book reveals a gift for words, sometimes delightfully expressed in jingles or old rhymes.
Loves Melody gives us an insight into the world of mental illness, but it also has something to say about the universal human condition.