I met love
In the form
Of Leigh
Within
The boundaries
Of a hospital
Established for
The treatment of
Persons who happen
To have illness,
That is,
We are people
Who do have
A brain structure.
With a slight difference from yours.
Just as whomever you see, hear, touch, smell, and
Speak with are slightly, at least, different
From yourself or anyone else on this earth, ever.

Yet love is what we extend for we find that we have
An abundance that we freely afford to you
While we ask for little from your love in return.

Love, kindness, joy
The healing from within
That may pass from person to person.

002

Background b

Leigh and I met in April 1996 then parted in May.
The original poems herein reconstructed
Were written in May 1996 to august 1996.
In September of
1996,

I did receive electroconvulsive therapy
For the untranslatable pain of depression resulting from finding myself
Deep within a loss of hope for a love felt by myself that I had not ever
fully come to have known, for she may have been for my future a lifetime of love.
To that point in my life, the final addition of a loss for a love that
was tragically somewhat understandable and somewhat not,
Added upon a needless loss of my trade involving the needless loss of
my friends after the needless loss of the prospects of an equal education
After loss upon loss with losses in between losses which did lead to
the losses and eventual gains of my spirit and mind,
Perhaps involving the working out of something better for me.

I have visited hospitals seven times since the loss of my trade,
Three since the last time that I saw Leigh.
At times my mind is a medley of emotions yet I think, yet I feel,
Yet I retain the place within that is called upon to write
That she helped to lead me into and bring from within my self.

Page 368 and page 369
Were written in 2005
And page 370
Was written in 2006.

I may have to thank many people for helping me to be able
To accomplish this body of poems, which I hope to have rewritten
In a manner that is correct for the better refection on the mentally ill
Who are often thought to be incorrect.
Although are we all as men and women either correct or incorrect.
If I am incorrect then I am correctable.
Open your eyes to our difficulty and unstop your ears to our reason.

The disabled are not by definition to be considered incapacitated.
We retain a wholesome mind.

003

Background c

The disabled are not by definition incapacitated.
We are disabled enough to meet the guidelines
Of the U.S. social security administrations requirements
In regard to being eligible to receive disability benefits.
Thereafter we find the term disabled often in the common use of many
who would help us and some who would take advantage of us.

Within our inner selves there are parts that must not ever become disabled.
many of us feel pain more intensely and love more abundantly, do not
allow us to become lost.

If you know someone in adequate care who is in some need
Anyone may visit on or call any attorneys office
For a list of toll free telephone numbers
Of attorneys in your state.
If you are unable to acquire the services of an attorney,
Ask for a list of mental health advocacy
Organizations in your state.
No one is disabled in the purpose of life
For we all do have abilities

The U.S. government is not known to pay benefits
To persons of shadow or ghost-people.
Please do not allow your loved one to become as such.
Pray with us.

004

Indebtication

The nourishment of the emotions
Include love, kindness, and joy.
Such is what saved me from
The pool of oblivion.

The pool

I found myself lost
In the pool
Of oblivion
And was alone
Except for silent
Jesus Christ
My lifeguard
As his angels
Were all
Around me
From being scooped
From the bed
Into the wheelchair
As my head
Did nod
And was pushed
Down halls
Into an elevator
To the basement
For the treatment
Five times
Was it good for my mind
Was it to erase
Leigh from my hearts place
It didn’t help
Because there her I have kept.