Hang In There… Wherever “There” Is


SKU e-book Category

175 in stock


By Nicole Roberge

ISBN: 978-1-84991-052-1
Published: 2010
Pages: 281
Key Themes: anorexia, autobiography, recovery, empowerment, humour



This compelling and poignant memoir tells about the journey through the disease of Anorexia, the recovery process, and all that comes with it—the hurt, hope and humor. After almost dying from the disease, and being neglected by the doctors, the author sought recovery and spent seven weeks at an inpatient facility. In her powerful story, she digs into the depths of Anorexia and describes how her simple diet and exercise program turned into a horrific eating disorder—one that controlled her life and forced her to go to the gym every day for four hours and reduce her diet to only fruit. After almost suffering from a heart attack and amazed that she was still alive, she knew she had to save herself and get treatment. Today, she is a survivor. By telling her story of the disease and recovery process, she not only educates the reader about eating disorders, but also shares with them a secret world unknown to many, and most importantly, that there is hope and recovery is possible.

About the Author

Nicole Roberge was born in 1982 and lives in Connecticut. As a writer, she has been published in The Los Angeles Times, Rolling Stone, ELLEgirl, The Hartford Courant, Diverse Education, Her Sports, Gotham Baseball, Hear/Say, Songwriter Universe, SHE Caribbean, and writes a weekly humor-dating column for Online Dating Magazine. In addition, she was a book contributor to the Los Angeles dining guide, “Hungry?” She also founded and serves as editor to the online music magazine, “Tuned In Music.”

Roberge founded the non-profit “Beautiful Lives,” for Eating Disorder Education and Prevention programs in Connecticut. She speaks at schools, health fairs, and forums on eating disorders. She continues to do other advocacy work in both Connecticut and Washington, D.C.

Roberge holds a B.A. in English and a Certificate in Communication from Saint Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire, as well as a Certificate in Screenwriting from UCLA.

Book Extract

Though I had used diet pills in my teens and learned how to purge in college, it wasn’t until my early twenties that the reality of an eating disorder set in for me as I developed Anorexia Nervosa and faced the harsh reality of the disease when I almost died. That’s when I realized the kind of terror I had been living in and that I wanted to get out of, and how many others there were like me—trapped, isolated, stuck within their tormented minds, showing their unhappiness through their body. Begging for help, but unable to speak the words—shrinking to be noticed.

I spent a long time being unhappy with myself, not just the way I looked, but the way I felt. And I spent so much time harbouring these feelings, and pretending everything was okay, that they only harvested themselves and grew over time, until soon they became so enraged that they manifested themselves into the form of a full-blown eating disorder. It was a tortuous, devastating, and incredibly scary time for me, and the even scarier thing was that I couldn’t stop it. When I started a diet and exercise programme, it soon became obsessive, and while there was much going on in my personal life, I soon diverted my attention away from those stresses and difficulties and focused on the diet and exercise, which soon became extreme. With a four-hour workout every day, and a diet of only fruit, I was devoted, and soon, addicted. I couldn’t pull away, even when I wanted to. The eating disorder controlled me, and I wanted help, but couldn’t ask for it. The only thing I could turn to was my best friend—my eating disorder.

Eating disorders are scary and highly misconstrued in today’s society. People hear the term and think of thin celebrities or teenagers who crave attention by starving themselves, and this is a shame, because they should realize that eating disorders are not a choice, they are a disease, and they do not apply to a particular “type” of person, age group, or sex. They affect males, females and all ages. They do not discriminate.
Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. It is scary to hear people joke about how they wish they could be anorexic for a while, just to lose some weight. It is not a disease to joke about, and it pains me now to see anyone suffering with an eating disorder. It is something that I never thought would happen to me, and it still seems surreal that it did. Growing up, I always wanted to lose weight. I never thought I really could, and then I did, but I couldn’t stop. At both extremes, I wasn’t really happy, and through recovery, I have found happiness, and I know it doesn’t exist within the numbers on the scales.

I wanted to write this book because, like many who have suffered from an eating disorder, the experience is overwhelming. Once you realize and accept that you have one, there is a choice; do you want to recover? I did, and I continue to strive towards that goal, as you will see throughout the book. It is a lot of hard work, but it is so worth it. Some people don’t make the choice to recover, because they are stuck within the eating disorder, and I know how hard it is to get out of it. And for those of you who have not yet acknowledged that you have an eating disorder, I hope you do, because it’s your health, your life. For me, I knew what I was doing wasn’t right, but it took a life-threatening situation for me to admit to my disease and claim recovery for myself. If anything, I want to use my story to reach out to people, for them to see the truth of eating disorders—the devastation, the poor medical treatment, the struggles of attempting recovery on your own, accepting you need outside help, and then continuing recovery and trying to build a life, while preventing relapse.


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