Stigma, to me, is discrimination due to a negative stereotype of a person with a mental illness. There is a lot of stigma when it comes to mental illness! This stigma tends to lead to people who have a mental illness feeling ashamed for having a mental illness. For a while, I was ashamed and scared for people to know I have Bipolar Disorder, because I was scared that people would be scared of me. I thought that other moms wouldn’t want me near their children because of it. It was silly of me to think so, because that never happened once to me. I finally came clean about having Bipolar. In this regard, I only stigmatized myself due to my own mind’s stereotypes.

For a while, I was so ashamed to be Bipolar because of feeling this stigma. I felt especially helpless while being pregnant with my first and only child. I felt a lot of shame put onto me from doctors and pharmacists while staying on my medications to stay stable while being pregnant. At this time, my specialist said it was safe to be on my particular medications while being pregnant. The worst thing to happen to me was that when I was 8 months pregnant, one pharmacist refused me my prescription of prenatal vitamins that I needed to help me have a healthy baby. She told me that she would call my doctor to let him “know what I was doing by staying on my medications”. That day, I left the pharmacy crying, feeling helpless as a pregnant Bipolar mother. After that day, I didn’t let other people get the best of me or my mood/feelings, and I just became numb to it all.

The discrimination while being a pregnant Bipolar mother was the most upsetting to me, though a lot of my journey dealing with a mental illness has been stigmatizing. Mental illness stereotypes are just about everywhere, but are seldom addressed. It affects our self-esteem and causes us to see ourselves the way others believe us to be, due to the stereotype of what a person is like with a mental illness.

When I was first diagnosed with Bipolar 1, nobody I knew expected anything from me because I had Bipolar. A lot of people didn’t think I could handle being a mother due to this. I even had a family member tell my husband that they would understand if my husband left me due to me having Bipolar. Well, I showed them all wrong, and I hope that you will, too. I have a beautiful, healthy, loving, caring family of my own that I created, with kind precious few friends I now have.

Stigma is a really touchy subject to talk about. We need to talk about it more so eventually there won´t be any. My main point here is that it doesn’t matter how other people see us. It only truly matters how we see ourselves. You are not a mental illness stereotype. You are you, no lesser or greater than anyone else in this world. I know it’s hard to not let people get to us.

Discrimination is hurtful, especially when you’re at the receiving end of it, but it is so important to not let people put you into a category because of other people’s judgment. I don’t care any longer how people see me due to my mental illness. A lot of people misunderstand who I am, and what I stand for. For me, all I want to do is be a loving mother and wife. I have that now. If I let stigma still get the best of my thoughts the way it used to, then I might not have that at all now!