Depression Ate My Soul


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Depression Ate My Soul
A Collection of Poems
By Sue Holt


ISBN: 978-1904697-73-2
Published: 2005
Pages: 102
Key Themes: depression, bi-polar manic-depression, poetry, Christianity, personal strength, recovery

“This is absolutely not a collection of poems about depression. Sue Holt’s beautifully crafted poetry allows us to join her on a very intimate journey, exploring fear and wonder, faith and doubt, despair and hope. Her work is both thought provoking and inspiring”. – Tom McAlpine, Chair, Mood Swings Network


This is Sue Holt’s second collection of poetry. Sue is a poet who suffers from mental distress. Her first book ‘Poems of Survival’ was Sue’s opportunity to open up the Pandora’s box that contained memories of her past and her day to day struggle with manic depression, in doing this she was able to emerge to begin the slow process to accept her own worth.

‘Depression Ate My Soul’ reflects growth. Over time my spirit died, years of abuse stripped me of hope, faith and trust. Manic depression stripped me bare. One evening I imagined a different future, a faint glimmer of hope was ignited, spiritually I began to grow. Each psychotic episode teaches me to take a different perspective and enables me, eventually, to move on. I believe depression ate my soul, but through the process of mental illness and my willingness to learn and adapt spiritually, I have developed a stronger, more creative, courageous one”. Sue Holt

About the Author

Sue Holt is a talented poet who has struggled with manic depression for 15 years. She writes from the heart with a rare honesty that reflects how mental illness touches her life. Sue writes to express her pain while in contrast she shares her intense faith, which has given her a deep understanding of God and His immense love. Many people relate to her pain and in doing so are given the opportunity to connect with their own, and Sue’s desire is that they too will begin their own spiritual journey.

Sue lives in Lancashire, England, with her husband and teenage son. She is greatly inspired by nature and when not writing can be found in the garden, walking, painting and working on pieces of sculpture. She believes in healing through self expression.

Book Extract

The Book Launch

I wrote a book
Of past hurts

The pain of insanity
Of childhood sexual abuse
My pain
Locked within
My body.

My mind broke
Ravaged by madness
Turned in on itself,
Looked for answers elsewhere.

Answers came from above,

A gentle voice in my mind.
A delicate breeze

Held me close.

God spoke to me
About my “living hell”
He told me of love
Life in the future.

Faith was all I needed
Such a simple concept

Just believe.

I spoke of my emotional pain
To others,
They misunderstood
I tried harder.

I told them of God
And all He had said.

I was ridiculed
My dreams dismissed.

I forgive them for this

They were not to know,
The truth

Though it was clearly there.

Today I believe my faith

Is truly recognised.

Although the voice

In my head.
Is still not considered
To be God

That is ok
I understand,

The lack of faith
In others.

I believe
I will teach others
About mental health

One day.

Sees the launch
Of my first book
For me it is much more.

People are coming to see me,

Hear me talk.

Acknowledge my former pain

And me.

I am beginning to feel accepted
Not just by God

By those around me.

My thoughts, feelings

Emotions And

Do count.

I feel deeply honoured

That people
Are willing to share their time
With me.

Mental Health Is still very hush hush
I dream I can
help Help others

Perhaps tomorrow
Those gathered
May see people
In a different light

Also Available

‘Poems of Survival’ by Sue Holt
Paperback / e-Book

7 reviews for Depression Ate My Soul

  1. Sarah Braden (verified owner)

    A truly worthy second collection of poems which deal with the pressures and problems of manic depression. This is inspiring and touching work which i thoroughly recommend!

  2. leigh Bradbury (verified owner)

    This book is sue’s autobiography, who suffers from mental distress. Very interesting.

  3. Louis Earnshaw (verified owner)

    This second collection of poems is simply fantastic! I mean, Sue manages to touch the reader deeply enough to make he or she really feel what she means. This collection could be seen as the sequel to her first book, and also as a cure for everybody who’s concerned with mental illness.

  4. Rick Ballard (verified owner)

    The poet suffers from mental distress; she tells us her background in a very good book. Well written and well done!

  5. Robert Mortimer (verified owner)

    Since I first opened this book, something obliged me to finish it as quickly as possible. What was it? A mix of honesty and irony? Or more simply because this is a really moving and well written book…?

  6. Fiona Whelpton (verified owner)

    Sue Holt’s second book of poetry is as inspiring as the first! Her poetry is full of hope for anybody suffering from mental illness.

  7. Natalie Anon (verified owner)

    Within “Depression Ate My Soul” Sue Holt reveals how courage, faith and determination can overcome adversity. In her second collection of poetry Sue shows us clearly the troughs and peaks of her life. In her honest and forthright manner she depicts the stark reality surrounding mental distress, however, compared to her first book “Poems of Survival”, Sue shows the signs of recovery. Sue is beginning to accept herself and where there was once pain and anguish their now exists peace and tranquility. “Depression Ate my Soul” highlights for all of us in similar positions that our futures no longer need to be robbed from us by the symptoms of mental distress.

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