Delusions of Grandeur


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168 in stock


By Talmadge Rogalla

ISBN: 978-1904697-40-4
Published: 2005
Pages: 77
Key Themes: fiction, spirituality, fantsy, schizophrenia, psychosis,



Talmadge’s brave and extraordinarily honest account of life with schizophrenia was written to reveal the inner workings of that most misunderstood of mental disorders. The author hopes the trip into insanity will enlighten people as they experience life inside a psychotic mind. This book was exceptionally difficult to write as the writing in itself provoked Talmadge’s condition, but the author has managed to write with a fluid and creative style.

About the Author

Talmadge Rogalla was born in September 1968 in his grandparent’s council house in Edmonton, London. As a child he lived in Germany for seven and a half years, today he lives in the countryside in Somerset. Talmagde was a successful businessman running his own company prior to his descent into illness. His interests vary from science, technology, computers, holistic health, walking and swimming to writing poetry. Talmadge is currently studying for a diploma in mental health, as well as writing and working as an accountant and PC repairer. Talmadge is also the founder of ‘The Schizophrenia Advocacy Foundation’, his other published work ‘Schizophrenia in Layman’s Language’ is available from his website.

Book Extract

I went out in the garden and laid myself on the concrete cover of the old well, and gazed up at the deep blue heavens. I closed my eyes momentarily, and then opened them again. I was wide-awake, but to my amazement I could see very unusual things going on in the sky. There were huge angels sitting on thrones, with crowns on their heads shining with splendour. There were male and female angels, and all were so very beautiful. A tiny baby angel, a cherub, was annoying his mother.

She caught hold of him with her arms, and clouted him with one of her three huge sets of wings. They suddenly broke out in a cheerful chorus. Other angels played harps and flutes in accompaniment to a beautiful song. A choir of angels sang whilst an orchestra of angels played wonderfully sounding musical instruments and everything was tranquil and peaceful as I gazed up in sheer astonishment. One of the angels descended from the sky with a carriage. The angels could not be seen by anybody except for me.

The angel halted the carriage in the garden, and dismounted and walked towards me with a broad smile across his face. “Hello Friedrich,” he spoke gently, so as not to frighten me. “What are you?” I replied, flabbergasted, and paused before continuing. “God perhaps?” “No I am just one of God’s angels.” replied the angel with a twinkle in his eyes. “Oh yeh?” I asked astonished. “What is your name?” “My name is Apollyon,” said the angel in amusement. “The king of the abyss.” “Why have you come to me?” I asked, hardly believing my eyes. “I don’t want to end up in an abyss, do I? “Young man, I want you to help me save the world from nuclear destruction.” “Me? But how?” I inquired with tremendous curiosity. “I am only a boy!” “First come with me to my home,” replied Apollo smiling at my curious questions.

Apollyon took me to the carriage by the hand, and lifted me into the seat. He got in himself, and the horse began to gallop and flap his wings, so that the carriage lifted off the ground, and up into the heavens. It was rather like being in a plane. The village became a tiny desolate spot on the landscape as we went higher into the vast blueness. Apollo chuckled, as he watched me peer through the window. I had never been in a Royal Carriage before; especially one belonging to an angel. We rode higher and higher into the sky until we were in between the stars. The powerful horse galloped on and on pulling the carriage behind him. In between the stars, I could see a gigantic city with huge gates leading to it. The gates provided a break in the walls around it. “Is that where we are going?” I asked with great excitement. “Yes, that is the place of kings and queens.” Replied Apollyon. “Why is the city so well fortified?” “We want to keep the demons out don’t we?” We rode to the big gates, which had two powerful angels guarding it.

The angels opened the gates and let the carriage through. We rode into the beautiful and magnificent city. The homes were carved out of all types of marble. On the corners were gargoyles and the streets were ruby red. The city glowed by itself, as there was no sunlight as there is on earth, although the city sky was of the purest blue. Apollyon steered the carriage to a magnificent crystal palace. As he approached the gates to the drive they swung open automatically. We went a long distance up the drive when suddenly the carriage came to an abrupt halt. Out of the doors of the palace stepped a beautiful female angel. “Oh hello dear, so you have brought the boy?” Said the female angel in delight. “Yes indeed I have Persephone. Have you prepared the meal for our guest?” “Yes, dear. I have prepared everything.”

She stepped down to the carriage, took me into her arms and put her wings around me. We slowly made our way inside. She was amused at how I kept on looking into her beautiful eyes, and the way I explored her magnificent face. It was indescribable, as humans have hardly ever seen the faces of angels. She showed me the inside of the palace, and I became simply speechless and awe struck. Everything was so ornate. The palace was fit for a King but there was nothing on earth like it. Apollyon left the horse and carriage to the stable hands. “This is an extremely beautiful palace.” I said out loud, as I observed the many precious stones the floor was made of. “Yes to earthling eyes it is so,” she replied, “but now it is time for your meal, my love.” She put me down, and led me by the hand into a large dining room.

It was like a great hall of mirrors with numerous chandeliers hanging down from the ceiling. She sat me down at the table. I leaned back in the beautiful green marble chair and marvelled. Persephone sat one side of me, and Apollyon sat the other side. The servant walked in and served the meal. I feasted my eyes on the many delicious things that were served. I felt really privileged. Much of the cuisine I had not ever seen before. It was amazing to the human eyes. It tasted so exquisite. We ate, and then delicious drink was served. Apollyon explained political theories, such as Marxism to me. He showed that there were the workers, or the proletariat, on one side, and on the other there were the bourgeoisie, who were the capitalist. He explained to me that the world was divided between two basic powers; the communists and the capitalists.

The capitalists want to make themselves richer, and hence they were victims of personal greed, but the communists want everybody to have a fair share. Both want world domination; hence the conflict between the western allies and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Either was willing to destroy the world through nuclear weapons to gain world domination. There was now an enormous underground network of tunnels, railways and motorways between underground cities owned by the west stretching right under Western Europe.

There were also lots of underground nuclear missile bases. Weapons were manufactured underground to bring the USSR to its knees. People such as travellers, gypsies, criminals, outlaws, and the underprivileged, including communists, were set to work as slaves in labour camps underground, to manufacture arms for the western allies There was even an underground slave trade market between countries. Slave trains took slaves from one destination to another under heavy guard. If anybody disobeyed orders they were exterminated in special camps and incinerated. Many were often killed in front of a huge crowd to produce maximum control. The fear of being put to death caused blind obedience.

5 reviews for Delusions of Grandeur

  1. Jack Westerly (verified owner)

    I really enjoyed reading this book. It is well written and easy reading. If you have a book to read, this one is for you.

  2. Dave Rainham (verified owner)

    This is the novel of a mind that has lost control with reality. Never could you go as deeply into the schizophrenic mind as Talmadge takes you throughout his book. It is a very tough account as well as a very sensitive one. Not to miss!

  3. Brian May (verified owner)

    Talmadge wrote a very strong book, talking about the basis of schizophrenia, which is quiet rare actually. So I would rather advise this book to adult people who are interested in the subject or who have already experienced this illness.

  4. Mehmet Mahmood (verified owner)

    an interesting, well written, honest and clever book!!!
    i advise it!!!!

  5. Richard Levittstown (verified owner)

    A beautiful book which will certainly help patients who are suffering from a psychosis. It’s the most honest book I’ve never read, and the most attracting account of life with schizophrenia.

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