£5.00
178 in stock
By Ben Lee Almond
ISBN: 978-1-84747-273-1
Published: 2007
Pages: 77
Key Themes: poetry, drugs, children’s homes, prison, psychiatric units, North England
Description
I have been in and out of a lot of different institutions since the age of six. The first time I was admitted was to the Mary Burbury unit at Burnley general hospital. I have been to prison a few times, a few children’s homes and many different types’ of wards and psychiatric units.
After spending so much time in these places, I started to write poems about how I felt and what was going through my mind. I made lots of them flow and rhyme with long dark descriptive words which reflects where my head was at the time. I documented my experience with schizophrenic affective disorder and the results are profound.
I was into drugs heavily which took me to dark places. Some of my poems explain the negativity that they create and the nasty world around them when you take them. I have seen many people in prisons and hospitals with drug induced psychosis and been through to myself. I would love these poems in particular to serve as a deterrent for any one even thinking of trying drugs.
Some of these poems are here to give you an insight into drugs and the affects on mental health disorders that people experience, my self included. This book was mainly written as I was moved from one institution to the next and became a big part in my self counselling which has helped me greatly along the road.
About the Author
Ben Lee Almond is 28 years old and was born in Blackburn and raised in Burnley.
Book Extract
NEW LIFE REVITALISED
Fed up and bored, ain’t nowt to do
Nine years old and I’m sniffing glue
Petrol thinners, boot polish too
Young and foolish I didn’t have a clue
Got deeper in, two months past
You could catch my lips round a tin a gas
What went wrong you had to ask
Mushy season came and yeah, I had a blast
When I hit eleven, well I hit the weed
Bye to the solvents, my mind was freed
How wrong was I when along came speed
Doing it for fun turned into a need
I craved for the buzz and wanted the feeling
A boost of the ego I started dealing
Plenty of cash, a great big stash
Half the town was smoking my ash
Started growing skunk, you know how it goes
And all the profits were going up my nose
A teenager taught me how to wash the coke
Sniffing is shit you wanna try a smoke?
I said OK I’m an easy led bloke
I should’ve said no and it’s not a joke
Instantly addicted off just one puff
Wired every day I couldn’t get enough
Couldn’t get to sleep, couldn’t settle down
After a while I started tootin’ brown
High all day, sedated at night
My body was fucked I had no fight
Rooting on the floor, did I drop a little bit?
Looking in the kitchen where I wasn’t smoking it
It fries your brain, fucks with your mind
Can’t see reality it turns you blind
I needed sex I wanted it now
Didn’t care why didn’t care how
Sleeping with the pros just coz I could
Wanted it all I was only young blood
Sex on the brain frustrated in pain
And all because of crack cocaine
Which led me to a heroin addiction
A physical, mental, terrible affliction
I owed the dealer two ton fifty
Came knocking on my door looking shifty
I went out to see, what’s the matter
He swung for me so I picked up a hammer
I struck him quick, hard as I could
Hit his head on the floor there was lots of blood
He got up and said I can’t see
I thought OK that’ll do for me
Big bad gangster grassed to the cops
I did time in jail where time just stops
Doing my rip doing a rattle
I cut my arms but I won the battle
I wrote to a girl whilst clutching on straws
She saw my pain and showed me the cause
The craving stopped the aching went away
She told me the truth I was led astray
Seven and a half months on remand
Self-defence didn’t have it planned
Section eighteen with intent
My time in jail was time well spent
I learned to write words properly
It gave my mind some sanctuary
Stopped self harming, don’t take drugs
Don’t hang around with nasty thugs
But the side effects of a poisoned mind
Was schizophrenia I did find
Packed off to the psychiatric ward
Couldn’t get out, I got real bored
The drugs had warped reality
They took me to insanity
The floor was soft the sky was hard
I thought I was the new age God
I got better and reconnected
From the world of drugs I disconnected
Said I couldn’t do it, now they’re surprised
They see new life revitalised
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lesley keeler (verified owner) –
an honest emotional rollercoaster account of the feelings and emotions experienced by Ben who has given a heartrending account of the affects from childhood to the present of being in care and taking illicit drugs from an early age . a must read book when is it out in paperback should be on the schools curriculum! ! ! !